I cant lose you
by Nancy Beaudet
Summary: Based at the ending of 3x02 spoilers. Faced with losing the one salvatore brother she has left Elena is forced to admit her feelings unaware thats shes being watched and will soon be faced with consquences neither her or damon were prepapred for.
1. Chapter 1

_I didn__'t want to see you get hurt okay? I was worried about you._

The word _worried _seemed like a understatement. I didn't think I even knew the word to describe the panic that had filled my chest. The thought of losing Damon was almost unthinkable. I'd already lost one Salvatore brother. I didn't think I could live through losing the only one I had left.

"Thanks" he quipped, smiling at me in his usual way as he moved to get around me. I willed myself to just let him go but failed. My words coming out jumbled as everything I had been holding in spilled out.

"I worry about you okay? Why do you even have to hear me say it?" I took a deep breath waiting for him to interrupt or answer but he didn't. Biting my lips as I tried in vain to shut myself up. Knowing the consequences of this confession would be far from pleasant, or maybe I was just worried that they would be to pleasant. That I would enjoy the consequences far to much for me to ever admit.

"I need you" I couldn't deny the way his eyes softened as I spoke, his tense shoulders relaxing ever so slightly.

"With Stefan gone and Bonnie not around well I don't really have anyone else. That I can talk to, that makes me feel safe" The easier the words flowed out the harder it became to stop them.

I forced myself to look away from his eyes, ever so blue and full of an emotion I didn't dare to try to figure out.

"I can't lose you Damon. Okay? I just can't"

His arms were around me faster than I could realize, holding me safe and secure against his chest. His lips pressed against my hair, sending shivers down my spine.

It was then that I realized I was crying, tears escaping without me ever giving them permission to do so.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. I will never leave you Elena" his words soft and sincere, felt heavy on my heart.

"You won't lose me, not ever"

He picked me up before I even realized he had moved. Scooping me up as easy as if I were a small child instead of my newly 18 year old self. Setting me down on the bed softly and settling in next to me.

It was strange seeing him so at ease, his head resting comfortably against my pink flowered pillow case. While I stared I found it impossible not to compare him to the only other vampire that had been so at ease laying next to me.

"You miss him don't you" Damon whispered, it wasn't a question. Just a statement of fact.

"Do you?" my words felt heavier now somehow, with Damon's face impossibly close. His hands resting dangerously close to where I really wanted them to be.

His snuggled in closer then, breathing in the scent of my hair, my skin, my cheek, my lips.

"Everyday"

We were both silent then, watching each other In the darkness, sharing every breath.

"Promise me something" he said suddenly, his face suddenly only inches from my own. His body pressed tightly against mine.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Please stop trying to take yourself away from me. I told you once that I couldn't lose you but I don't think you ever understood that true meaning behind my words. Losing you would mean losing the only person I have truly loved in over a hundred and sixty years. You're all I have Elena. Losing you would simply destroy me"

I suddenly found myself unable to breathe or respond. Tears fill my eyes once again I did the only thing I could think of. I lifted my head so that we were nose to nose and did the one thing I had been telling myself I could never do again. At least until I had figured out why I had ever done it in the first place.

I kissed him, with everything I had me. Smiling as his hands tangled themselves against my back.

"I love you" he whispered in between feverish kisses that soon began to deepen. I nodded, clasping my hands against his back, binding him to me.

All the while knowing that no matter what happened to us because of this, no matter what consequences we might have to have to face. Only two things mattered.

I loved Damon Salvatore, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. I'd never needed another (not so) human being more in my life. This I knew.

More than that though, there was something else that was absolutely positive. Something that mattered more than anything else.

Damon Salvatore loved me, he'd never made a secret of it. Never pretended, never buried his feelings to far down for me to see. He loved me, and would keep me safe no matter what came our way.

I only wished I'd know, as he curled himself against me. How bad the consequences we would now face would be.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke with a start, my heart racing as I quickly realized I wasn't alone.

"Hey sleepy head"

I jumped, my face blushing crimson at the sound of Damon's voice. Suddenly so very close when I so less when I less than clothed.

"Hey" I shrugged meekly, turning so that we were face to face. His bare shoulders broad and pale in the morning light that crept it through the curtains. Even now, after spending the night by his side seeing him here took some getting used to.

"You okay?" he wondered, seeing to mistake my silence for something beside shyness.

"Yah" I smiled, taking his hand in mine. Hoping to erase any fear he had. "Are you? I mean was last night" my voice trailed off as I tried to find somewhere safe to look. I settled on tracing circles along his chest.

"Last night" Damon laughed, lifting my chin so that we were eye to eye. His voice suddenly becoming more serious as he continued "was the best night of my life, all one hundred and sixty some odd years of it". He was impossible to doubt, his sincerity rang in every word.

It was as I was taking his the true meaning of what he had just confessed that my eyes happened to land on the alarm clock resting on the desk behind Damon's head.

"I'm late" I groaned, pushing past the blankets so I could stand. Unable to stop myself from blushing as demons eyes made there way from to head to my toes. Taking it all of my nakedness until my face was as red as it could possibly get.

"I'll drive you" he muttered, shaking himself from his reverie as he to pushed the blankets aside and revealed himself. Standing up without a second thought as I tried not to gawk. Every glorious inch of him making it nearly impossible for me to focus and remember why it was I had to leave. When sliding my underwear back off seemed like such a more enjoyable option.

"It's okay, I think I'll just walk" I shrugged, clasping my bra shut before quickly pulling on one of my old t-shirts. "It's really nice out anyway and you probably have stuff to do."

Damon didn't seemed pleased with the idea, I shouldn't have been surprised. He never had been one to let me wander off alone.

"Elena" he sighed, his blue eyes full of worry that his voice couldn't quite conceal.

"I'll be fine I promise" I smiled, standing up on my tip toes so that I could plant one last kiss on his perfect lips before I was on my way. Hating to leave him standing there, alone in my bedroom.

Unable to fight the feeling that I needed to glance at him one more time before I bounded my way down the stairs. As if I didn't know when I was would seem again, which was insane. I'd only be at school for a few hours. Shaking my head I tried to push the strange feeling aside.

Knowing that all of my reasons for wanting to walk had nothing to do with the weather, and feeling horrible about it.

I needed fresh air.

I needed to think.

Being alone with Damon in a car for twenty minutes would never amount to thinking, not coherent thinking anyway. Only the kind of thinking the happened after my hand just _happened_ to slip down inside his underwear band after my seatbelt just _happened _to come undone.

Nope.

Being alone in a car with Damon Salvatore after last night was definitely not a good idea. If anything it was only a recipe for disaster, or a car accident.

I don't know exactly when someone started following me, all I know is one minute I was all alone on the sun soaked street and the next.

I wasn't.

The sound of scuffling feet moving rapidly behind me was enough for me to stop and turn. A man, tall and quick was only a few strides behind me now. Dressed completely in black and head bent down.

I didn't even have time to run or scream, he was on me then. Twisting my arms behind my back with such brunt force I nearly yelped out in pain.

"Don't make a sound" he threatened, his face only inches from my own. Pulling me into the shadows as he spoke, never one losing him grip around my waste.

"I've been waiting for you, you know? Watching you. I got to say Damon is one lucky son of a bitch" he sneered, one hand releasing me as he spoke. I prayed he couldn't tell the way my heart was lurching at the mention of Damon.

All of my thoughts coming to an abrupt halt as I felt his hand cup my breast. "God what I wouldn't give to know what it feels like to get inside those pants" he grinned, pressing himself against my back.

I wanted to throw up, unable to move as he grinded against me. He released my arms then, instead using his hands to explore whatever part of me he could reach with us standing just out of eye sight, pressed tight against the brush.

"God I can't wait to get you back to the hotel" he moaned, grabbing my crotch in the palm of his hand. "I'm going to do things to you you've never had done before". He sneered, his voice had the sickening sound of a promise in it.

I wanted to run but knew I couldn't. He was a vampire, there was no way I'd get away from him now. Even if I did, even if I somehow managed to slip away he'd catch me.

I was alone.

_Damon_ I couldn't help but silently plead _Damon wherever you are I need you_

"Lets get you out of here." the man whispered, nearly panting "we've got plans you and me". I tried not to think of what those plans might be as he drug me out from the shadows and into a beat up old mustang which was parked against the curb.

It was fifthly inside, used blood bags covering almost every service. If I hadn't been sure he was a vampire before I sure was now.

"What do you want with me" I demanded, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

I hadn't looked at his face before but I did now, he was young looking. His mouth smeared with the remnants of his lunch, his dark eyes steady on the road in front of us.

His hands however weren't so steady. It hadn't taken long for his free hand to wonder over the space between us. First resting on my knee and then slowing sliding up my thigh.

"Undo your pants" he ordered, eyes never meeting mine as I glanced at him. Sure he must be joking, couldn't he wait after all to do whatever it was that he wanted to do to me?

I didn't move and he glanced at me then, eyes blood shot and radiating veins.

"Take you pants off now or I will snap your neck and you'll never see your precious Damon again" he ordered, shoving me against the door for good measure.

"Tell me what you want with me first and I'll do whatever you want" I shot back, pressing myself against the door, the farther away from him I could get the better.

"Oh man" he laughed, long and hallow.

The tires squealing as he pulled up against an old reddish building that didn't look anyway like a hotel.

"You've really done it now Elena"

He was on top of me then, yanking my legs toward him, smashing my head against the dashboard.

"Please don't" I cried, fighting him with every ouch of strength I could gather. Telling myself this wasn't real, I was with Damon still. It was Damon touching not this stranger.

My head throbbing as he spread my legs with ease, as if I was a rag doll. As if I was dead.

I wanted to be.

"You want to know what I want?" he growled, " I want Damon Salvatore to know _how I _felt knowing that it had been _him _touching my Katherine when I so wanted it to be _me_"

_Katherine_?

That name struck a cord.

"I'm going to do all the things to you that I never got to do to her, waiting for Damon to realize you're not where you're supposed to be. I want him to look for you I want him to cry and I want him to try and find me".

His voice was so full of hate I wasn't sure if he was still talking to me or just himself, I didn't have long to wonder though. His hands ripping at my clothing until there was nothing left.

Closing my eyes against the sound of his zipper, my head still throbbing I prayed for unconsciousness to overwhelm me. I didn't want to be present for this.


End file.
